Archive for November, 2010


Now What?

So it’s been over a year since Nickolas’ death and I’m still confused. Now that I’m over that extreme feeling of grief I don’t know what I should think. There’s so much I should do and could do it’s very overwhelming, there’s work or school even volunteer work. I know life needs to go on but I don’t know how to go about it being so detached for so long.

I’ve thought of studying to get my GED or finding a job or both and I know it’s what I need to do to get my life back on track but it’s intimidating to say the least.I think what’s holding me back the most is my back injury, as much as people think I’m lying the way the hospital messed up my back leaves me in pain when I walk more than 5-10 minutes or sit in a chair for an hour or so, even laying down gets uncomfortable after a while. If I try to go for Disability everyone’s going to call me lazy and think I’m crazy because I’m only 20 and if I sit at home and continue doing what I’m doing everyone is going to tell me it’s time to move on. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place and I don’t know how I’m ever going to figure this out.

I mean let’s say I get my GED so I’ll have my diploma out of the way, that means I’ll be able to A) Go to college or B) Get a job. Either way it involves finding a job which means sitting, standing and everything else that comes along with working. It all comes back to my back and I really curse the hospital here in Sudbury for doing this to me, I used to walk miles and miles a day and now it hurt to walk to the 5 minutes to Wal-Mart. I don’t know I guess I’ll have to do my best to figure this out on my own, I mean who else is going to make decisions for me but myself. This is what being a grown up is all about!

Songs Of Grief & Loss

Songs of Grief and Loss.

A good site I found of songs you can use for what ever the occasion of grief and loss, also some other things on this site about miscarriage and what not.

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